Back to BDSM Menu


(c) 2004 by Deborah Teramis Christian. All rights reserved. Contact the author for permission to reuse.

















Someone asked me once if I had advice for her on her leather journey. I shared with her these “rules of engagement” that I think are useful in bdsm relationships:

*   Be aware of your boundaries and be scrupulous in maintaining them. There is a difference between relaxing a boundary because you choose to, and having one run over rough-shod because you could not enforce it.

*   Honor yourself as much as you honor your partner(s).

*   Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. If that is lacking in your relationship, reconsider your situation.

*   Devotion cannot be one-sided; it must be reciprocal.

*   You need to know what your needs are, before you can get them met. Be mindful of that journey of self-discovery.

*  No one can make you trust them. Trust comes from within and grows from your ability to trust yourself.

*  Remember that ultimately only you can keep you safe.






Teramis' Basic Rules of Engagement