BDSM
Defined: An Exploration of Adult Sexualities & Lifestyles
There
are many styles of kink that people engage in, but they all have one thing
in common: they are activities that take place between consenting adults.
Contrary to stereotype, neither SM nor BDSM encompasses or condones abuse,
nor do these activities necessarily relate to sex or sexuality, for that is
not the exclusive realm in which BDSM plays out. This essay takes a look at
what BDSM is, and what it is not.
The
Nature of Master/slave (Owner/property) Relationships
There seems to be a common
pattern of misconceptions about Owner/property relationships (also called
"Master/slave" relationships, although I have issues with that terminology)
- and the nature of persons who become involved in consensual slavery as the
slave. This essay looks at things unique to M/s and its viability as a relationship
style.
A
Slave is Not a Submissive
Many people think a slave
is some kind of uber-sub, someone far more submissive than the average submissive,
beyond the pale of human norms and well into the doormat zone. Nothing could
be further from the truth. This essay looks at key differences between sub
and slave.
What
Does the Slave Get Out of It?
It's obvious what the
dominant is getting in D/s, right? Service. But as one correspondent once
asked me, what does the slave get out of it? Here's my answer to that question.
Trust,
Safety, and Surrender
These three elements are
very interconnected and essential to achieving successful power exchange.
The
Need to Belong
A personal musing on one
of the driving forces for many persons' submission, my own included.
Teramis'
Basic Rules of Engagement
Advice once asked and
offered on a submissive's journey.
~~~
This material
is copyrighted and not in the public domain. Request permission before re-using
on other websites. See
note at the top of this page for more on that. When in doubt, ask permission.
Questions/comments can
be directed to the author at teramis@teramis.com.
I've been
active in the leather scene for over
20 years, doing education and public speaking on BDSM and D/s relationship
issues for the last seven of those. The essays here are the product of various
noodlings across that span of time. Most of this material pertains to D/s
- my area of special interest - and much of it comes from various seminars
and workshops I have presented over the years.
If you want to reuse any
of this content READ THIS FIRST:
Blanket permission is
granted to copy and store any of these essays for personal use, only.
Please keep attribution attached. If you want to redistribute to a mailing
list or post on another website, contact me for permission first. Just because
this information is viewable by the public does not make it "in the public
domain." Publication or distribution without permission is
a violation of copyright and will be dealt with accordingly.
See the fine print for more
information about reuse of this site's content.
