(c) 2007 by Deborah Teramis Christian. All rights reserved. Contact the author for permission to reuse.










BDSM Defined: An Exploration of Adult Sexualities & Lifestyles

There are many styles of kink that people engage in, but they all have one thing in common: they are activities that take place between consenting adults. Contrary to stereotype, neither SM nor BDSM encompasses or condones abuse, nor do these activities necessarily relate to sex or sexuality, for that is not the exclusive realm in which BDSM plays out. This essay takes a look at what BDSM is, and what it is not.

The Nature of Master/slave (Owner/property) Relationships

There seems to be a common pattern of misconceptions about Owner/property relationships (also called "Master/slave" relationships, although I have issues with that terminology) - and the nature of persons who become involved in consensual slavery as the slave. This essay looks at things unique to M/s and its viability as a relationship style.

A Slave is Not a Submissive

Many people think a slave is some kind of uber-sub, someone far more submissive than the average submissive, beyond the pale of human norms and well into the doormat zone. Nothing could be further from the truth. This essay looks at key differences between sub and slave.

What Does the Slave Get Out of It?

It's obvious what the dominant is getting in D/s, right? Service. But as one correspondent once asked me, what does the slave get out of it? Here's my answer to that question.

Trust, Safety, and Surrender

These three elements are very interconnected and essential to achieving successful power exchange.

The Need to Belong

A personal musing on one of the driving forces for many persons' submission, my own included.

Teramis' Basic Rules of Engagement

Advice once asked and offered on a submissive's journey.


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Questions/comments can be directed to the author at teramis@teramis.com.




I've been active in the leather scene for over 20 years, doing education and public speaking on BDSM and D/s relationship issues for the last seven of those. The essays here are the product of various noodlings across that span of time. Most of this material pertains to D/s - my area of special interest - and much of it comes from various seminars and workshops I have presented over the years.

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"That Kinky Stuff"

Bondage & Discipline/Dominance & Submission/Sadism & Masochism